this feeling is all too familiar. why do i open to be hurt? its my own fault for thinking it would go somewhere. its my own feelings that i need to control. im not scared to open up anymore. scared is not the word. I HATE IT. hate is the word for opening up. its like a guarantee, almost like a deal. you open up you get hurt. i can feel myself closing up more after every experience. is it only me? is it only me that feels that every time you get hurt, you remember A L L the times you’ve gotten hurt & it adds on? this is why i push everyone away. this is the exact fuckin reason. fuck everyone man. i dont fuckin deserve this. im such a sweet girl. you sons of bitches are turning me into a cold hearted asshole.
